Even Moderation in Moderation

What are your vices? How bad could they really be? And are they worse than the shame you carry because of them?  

I think that the shame we have about our vices can, in some cases, do more harm than the vices themselves. I want to explore the idea of celebrating vices and examining them from a new perspective, not as detrimental shortcomings or signs of weak willpower, but instead as necessary crutches that soften life’s blows during our darkest times. Sometimes our vices are what keep us going when the alternative is to give up entirely.  

I am done treating myself like a construction site. I am not a work in progress. I just… am. Yes, I have goals I work toward, but I think seeing myself as being in progress is a slippery slope, one that risks postponing my belief in my own worth until some later date that isn’t even guaranteed. I refuse to withhold self-love until I’ve given up my vices. Even if I did give them up cold turkey I would likely eventually turn something else, even something harmless that I might currently have a healthy relationship with, into a vice. Also, when I envision a “vice-free” version of myself, the person I envision is not any more or less worthy of love than the current version of me, nor are her accomplishments or experiences any more or less valid.  

I am making an effort to eliminate the shame surrounding vices because I believe doing so leads to healthier habits and relationships with them. Shame compounds negativity. It latches onto our mistakes, perceived flaws, and hardships, making them heavier than they already are. I release the shame around my vices because if they disappeared tomorrow, the shame wouldn’t go with them, it would simply be redirected and find somewhere else to land. 

I think when we eliminate shame, we are able to lay our vices to rest and honor the role they played in our self preservation without condemning those who still hold onto theirs. We can see them for what they are, people with inherent value who are worthy of love, just as they are. Not as construction sites. Not as cautionary tales.  

A world without vices has never existed. And it never will on my watch.