The Beauty of Finishing Abandoned Artworks
In 2019, I started this drawing. Like many drawings I’ve started in my life, it was soon abandoned in favor of some other idea or activity. Lately, whenever I take on a project, be it a commission or some other assignment that has a deadline and/or isn’t purely recreational, I finish as quickly as possible with as few distractions as possible. I do this because I am afraid to lose momentum. I know I can’t abandon the piece because there is a deadline and a contract involved, so I paint profusely, motivated by my fear of losing momentum. I’ve lost momentum so many times before and felt unable and uninterested in revisiting the abandoned works because they no longer resonated. The older I get, the more follow through I’ve gained and I have fewer abandoned works these days, but still I irrationally fear reverting back and being unable to complete professional projects.
This drawing, which I abandoned and revisited after 6 years of collecting dust, is given additional layers of depth because I chose to abandon it for so long and not in spite of that. In the 6 years that passed between taking the photo reference and starting to revisit the piece, the scene obviously did not change. My appreciation for the scene did. Had I completed the drawing sooner after starting, I would have a more surface level appreciation for the scene. Observing and capturing the moment in retrospect weirdly almost feels like time traveling in a way. I was brought back to the very same idea I had years ago, but with an additional 6 years of knowledge and experiences, and with observations that I would not have been able to have at the time I started because the life that has happened since simply hadn’t happened at the time.
There is a sense of nostalgic mourning that I felt when I stumbled upon this unfinished drawing and realized the reference was still in my camera roll. I feel it when I look at pre pandemic social scenes. My social life has not healed since, and I think the greater social climate reflects that. The proximity of the figures and the attentive, engaged body language of the group is expressed differently in each figure but unified as a whole. I do not know the subjects’ relationships to one another, but I love moments of unity among people who happen to be sharing the same space, and how said moments can remind us of how much we have in common. I aimed to stay pretty true to the reference photo, taking minor liberties, so as to capture the authentic style choices of the subjects.
Seeing the 6y/o unfinished drawing go from gestural scribbles to, over the course of three days of drawing, finding some resolution felt like someplace in my soul that I didn’t even know was there was being quenched. It felt relieving to see the drawing I had in my head for so long slowly come to life. I started expressing an idea 6 years ago, stopped mid sentence, and am finally finishing my thought these years later. So much has changed about my practice since then. These days I’m obsessed with having a clean work surface. Six years ago, I thought I was too cool for all that (hence the stains on either side of the drawing). Hundreds of hours of studying art and dozens of projects have come and gone since Summer 2019. To be honest I’m not sure that I had the skills to execute this piece to completion at the time of starting.
This is my case for revisiting abandoned artworks. And for putting work down indefinitely when you feel it’s time. Do not be afraid to start work that is outlandish or mundane or that you don’t have the skills to execute at the present. The idea will still be there when you gain the skills or are ready to revisit. Art constantly reminds me to follow my own timeline. Everything will not be revealed all at once.
